Look Both Ways: A Lesson in Mental Health, Relationships, and Faith
A Lesson We Learned as Children
When I was a child, I heard the phrase repeatedly: "Look both ways before crossing the street." My parents extended that caution to parking lots as well. They reminded us that cars are heavy, drivers cannot always stop in time, and a moment of inattention could change a life forever.
It was a simple lesson: Pay attention. Be aware. Protect yourself.
Today, however, it often feels as though that lesson has been forgotten.
The Wilds of the Parking Lot
In my area, the parking lot at Lowe's is a perfect example of how dangerous things can become for both drivers and pedestrians. Vehicles are parked near the entrance for loading, making it difficult for drivers to see who may be exiting the store.
At the same time, many pedestrians bolt or walk directly out of the doors without stopping to look. They continue toward their vehicles while talking with others, pushing carts, walking diagonally across, or, more often than not, looking at their phones. It is a wild cluster of people coming and going, not in the crosswalks, but in whatever direction they fancy.
The business has attempted to improve safety by adding crosswalks and more recently additional stop signs in the parking lot. All of this is for the driver to adhere to, but no instruction for the pedestrians. There seems to be an increasing expectation that everyone else bears the responsibility to watch out for us.
I've even heard people defiantly say, "Well, if I get hit, they'll have to pay."
That’s a possibility.
But there is no amount of money that guarantees you will recover physically, live without pain, or survive the accident. And what about the emotional, financial, and relational impact on the people who love you?
There is a law that drivers are to yield to pedestrians in crosswalks, however pedestrians do not have the right-of-way when jaywalking, at traffic signals, or sudden entry. Drivers are still held to yield but pedestrians do not legally always have the right-of-way, which could alter the verdict in a litigation. Pedestrians and drivers must have situational /environmental awareness and pay attention.
The reality is that while drivers have a responsibility to yield, pedestrians also have a responsibility to pay attention. Let’s also acknowledge not all drivers are mindful. I have had a recent encounter with a driver who was irresponsible and did not consider others, but the point is this:
Safety requires both.
Mental Health Requires Us to Look Both Ways
As a therapist, I've come to noticed that many of our emotional struggles involve a loss of situational awareness.
When we are anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, traumatized, or emotionally exhausted, our focus naturally narrows. We become consumed with what we are feeling in the moment and lose sight of the larger picture.
Anxiety tells us to focus only on danger.
Depression tells us to focus only on hopelessness.
Anger tells us to focus only on injustice.
Shame tells us to focus only on our failures.
Fear tells us to focus only on protecting ourselves.
In many ways, poor mental health can create emotional blind spots. We stop looking both ways.
We may stop paying attention to:
How our behaviors affect others.
The warning signs in our relationships.
The unhealthy coping strategies we're developing.
The boundaries we've slowly begun to cross.
The stress our bodies have been trying to communicate.
The people who have been trying to help us.
Instead, we keep moving forward, assuming everything will somehow work out.
Until suddenly, we find ourselves emotionally injured.
The Danger of Assuming We Have the Right-of-Way
The same principle applies to our relationships.
Sometimes we begin to believe that because someone loves us, they should always accommodate us, protect us, and understand us—even when we stop paying attention to how our actions affect them.
We can begin to operate with an emotional "right-of-way" mentality:
"My feelings matter more."
"They should understand."
"I deserve this."
"If I get hurt, I'll just leave."
"It's their responsibility to protect the relationship."
But healthy relationships require both people to remain emotionally aware.
We must pay attention to:
Our partner's emotional needs.
Our own patterns and triggers.
Unresolved hurts.
Emotional distance.
Areas of temptation and vulnerability.
The small compromises that gradually erode trust.
Most relationships are not destroyed by one catastrophic event. They are damaged by thousands of moments when someone stopped looking both ways.
Yet we often fail to consider the pain, consequences, and long-term impact our choices have on those around us.
Just as pedestrians do not always have the right-of-way, neither do we.
Relationships require awareness, responsibility, humility, and intentionality.
Looking Both Ways Spiritually
The principle goes even deeper than our human relationships.
As Christians, we are called to live with spiritual awareness.
The Apostle Peter warns us:
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8)
And Solomon instructs us:
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23)
Scripture never teaches us to walk through life assuming we are immune from consequences. Instead, God repeatedly calls us to remain alert, attentive, and guarded.
One of the enemy's greatest deceptions is convincing us that we can step outside God's boundaries without experiencing pain.
He whispers:
"No one will know."
"You deserve this."
"It's not that serious."
"You can handle it."
"You can always fix it later."
But sin rarely announces its consequences upfront.
Often, it begins with a moment of distraction, a small compromise, or the assumption that the rules don't apply to us.
Putting Up Emotional and Spiritual Stop Signs
Just as parking lots have stop signs and crosswalks to prevent accidents, God gives us emotional and spiritual guardrails to protect us.
We "look both ways" when we:
Stay connected to God through prayer and Scripture.
Pay attention to our emotional health.
Recognize our stress levels and limitations.
Seek help when anxiety, depression, or trauma begin affecting our functioning.
Listen to the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
Invite trusted people to speak into our lives.
Maintain healthy boundaries.
Stay accountable in our relationships.
Slow down before making emotionally driven decisions.
Seeking help is not weakness.
Paying attention to your mental health is not selfish.
Establishing boundaries is not unloving.
These are all forms of wisdom.
Final Thoughts
Before crossing the street, our parents taught us to stop, pay attention, and look both ways.
Perhaps our Heavenly Father is still teaching us the same lesson.
Before making a decision...
Before speaking in anger...
Before crossing a boundary...
Before assuming you have the right-of-way...
Slow down. Pay attention. Guard your heart. Stay alert. And remember to look both ways.
